


just as it should be

by Splashattack



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Bad Wolf Bay, Canon Compliant, Episode: s04e13 Journey's End, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:55:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25913200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Splashattack/pseuds/Splashattack
Summary: "You're back home," the original Doctor stated; his voice was distant, detatched. It took her a second to realize that he was addressing her, rather than Jackie, because this was wrong, he waswrong: this wasn't her home, and it never had been. Her home was with him.Rose wasn't expecting to have to let go of the Doctor so soon after finding him again. She's not sure she can.or: the goodbye scene from Rose's view
Relationships: Metacrisis Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler
Kudos: 9





	1. just as it should be

**Author's Note:**

> I took a couple of liberties with this: I deleted Rose's first line after she steps off the TARDIS, where she questions if this is Pete's world; it flowed better without. I also choose to include the deleted scene about growing a new TARDIS. If you haven't seen it, you can find it pretty easily on Youtube. I would _highly_ recommend watching it.
> 
> This was originally meant to be the first scene of a multichapter fic about what happens to Rose and the Metacrisis Doctor after Journey's End. The second chapter is the rest of what was meant to be the first, as an optional epilogue. The ending in the first chapter is a lot more natural, so if feeling fulfilled is your thing, you might want to skip the next bit.

Rose stood just behind the Doctor, glancing over his shoulder at the TARDIS's screen. She wasn't sure why she was watching; it was filled with completely incomprehensible circular symbols, almost like clockwork, gently swaying around the monitor. It was better than focusing on what was happening, though: the Doctor was taking Jackie back to Bad Wolf Bay. It was the last time she was ever going to be able to see her mother, and she was not ready in the slightest—though it was certainly better than staying in the alternate universe with her. She was never going to leave the Doctor—her Doctor—again.

The familiar wheezing of the TARDIS made its way to Rose's ears, and she took a step away from the screen, turning to watch her mum step towards the doors, followed by the second Doctor. The other—the original—stood next to her, his hand finding hers and squeezing it. 

Rose let go of the Doctor's hand as he exchanged a look with Donna. Ignoring it, she followed her mum and the other Doctor out the doors of the TARDIS, pursing her lips as she was met with the familiar scene of Bad Wolf Bay. Almost two whole years later, and she still couldn't stand the sight of this place; an involuntary shudder made her hands tremble.

Jackie was talking, but Rose wasn't listening. She was focusing too hard on staying calm to listen.

"...do you remember? Had a baby boy," Jackie finished, as Donna and the original Doctor left the TARDIS. Rose vaguely considered how surreal it was to see not one, but two Doctors here, the place she hated so much for the farewell that had occurred on its sandy shores. Now it would also be the last place she would see her mum, and she knew there was no going back now, no dimension hoppers to let her see Jackie one last time. It was a finality she was dreading.

The new Doctor was talking. "Oh, brilliant. What did you call him?"

"Doctor," Jackie responded, tilting her head, and if Rose hadn't felt so heavy at the moment, she would have laughed at the look on his face.

"Really?" he asked, his tone betraying how touched he was. A lopsided grin grew on his face, one that was so achingly _familiar_ to Rose.

"No, you plum. He's called Tony," her mum replied, a hint of laughter entering her voice, and Rose almost smiled.

"You're back home," the original Doctor stated; his voice was distant, detatched. It took her a second to realize that he was addressing her, rather than Jackie, because this was wrong, he was _wrong_ : this wasn't her home, and it never had been. Her home was with him.

"And the walls of the world are closing again, now that the Reality Bomb never happened. It's dimensional retroclosure. See, I really get that stuff now," Donna added, and the pinstripe-suited Doctor nodded his agreement at her. It was wrong, and Rose was too cold.

She shook her head weakly, the harsh sea breeze blowing her hair into her face. She didn't pay it any attention. "No, but I spent all that time trying to find you. I'm not going back now." She wasn't staying here; she couldn't stay here.

Her Doctor didn't meet her eyes as he stepped forward. "But you've got to. Because we saved the universe, but at a cost. And the cost is him. He destroyed the Daleks. He committed genocide. He's too dangerous to be left on his own."

Rose almost mentioned the fact that he, too, had committed genocide; the lack of Time Lords left in her universe was testament to that, but she couldn't find her voice, couldn't make the words form on her tongue.

"You made me!" the new Doctor exclaimed, and his tone was almost exasperated, as if he was fed up with his counterpart. Rose could see why. The two Doctors were supposed to have the same memories and thought processes, if what had been hastily explained to her by Donna while the Doctor was dropping Jack, Sarah Jane, and Mickey off was true. In theory, this Doctor should be no more dangerous on his own than hers. To be fair, the Doctor and solitude was a bad combination, but the new Doctor could easily find someone else to be with, or he could just come with Rose and the Doctor back to her universe. Why wasn't that an option?

"Exactly. You were born in battle, full of blood and anger and revenge," the first Doctor said, before addressing Rose. "Remind you of someone?" He finally met Rose's gaze, but she couldn't hold it, and quickly looked away to watch the waves roll into the beach as the Doctor continued to speak. "That's me, when we first met. And you made me better. Now you can do the same for him."

Rose was beginning to feel like the Doctor was trying to brush her off, as if he didn't need her, and the part of her mind that wasn't numb dimly registered that it _stung_.

"But he's not you," was all she managed to get out, and she prayed that the original Doctor could see through her words to her true meaning. _Please tell me you need me. Please tell me you aren't abandoning me_.

And somehow, miraculously, he seemed to gather what she meant. "He needs you. That's very me." 

Rose let out a quiet breath, attempting to swallow around the thick lump in her throat. Donna jumped in before she could respond, her voice calm, too calm—how could she be so relaxed? Couldn't she see that Rose was shattering? 

"But it's better than that, though," she began, and Rose nearly sobbed—what did she mean _better_? She made it out like Rose staying here was a _good_ thing. "Don't you see what he's trying to give you? Tell her. Go on."

Rose didn't see how the Doctor could be giving her anything, but she turned to face the new Doctor nonetheless. It was easier to follow orders than resist, given how weak she felt.

The new Doctor hesitated before responding, almost as if he was afraid of Rose's reaction. "I look like him and I think like him. Same memories, same thoughts, same everything." Another hesitant pause. "Except I've only got one heart."

By this point Rose was crying, and she figured she was entitled.

"Which means?" she responded immediately, her voice cracking as she tried to pull herself together. There had to be a reason why the original Doctor wasn't letting them both come, and she suspected this was it. 

"I'm part human. Specifically, the aging part. I'll grow old and never regenerate. I've only got one life, Rose Tyler," he explained, and Rose blinked slowly before the Doctor continued. "I could spend it with you, if you want," he finished, sounding almost as if he was trying to make the offer sound casual. He wasn't doing a very good job; he seemed terrified that she would reject him. And maybe he wasn't her Doctor, maybe he was a bit too human, but he sounded like the Doctor, and had the same face, and she could never say no to him. 

"You'll grow old at the same time as me?" she asked, stumbling over the sentence a bit in her numb state. She wasn't sure what answer she was hoping for.

"Together," he confirmed, and Rose shook her head softly, stepping forward. She rested her hand on his chest: a single thump, so different from what she was used to.

The original Doctor seemed to take this as her agreeing to stay, because he started speaking again, and there was an air of finality about his words. "Oh, don't forget this. This universe is in need of defending. Chunk of TARDIS, grow your own." With this, he tossed something to the new Doctor, a coral-like object that was the same color as the supports of the TARDIS.

"But that takes thousands of years!" the new Doctor stated, looking down at the object in his hands before looking back up at his counterpart, as if to remind him that he had a limited lifespan now.

The original Doctor started to reply, but was cut off by Donna. "If you shatterfly the plasmic shell and modify the dimensional stabiliser to a foldback harmonica 36.3, you accelerate the growth power by 59," she stated. The two Doctors looked at each other before turning back to Donna. 

"We never thought of that," they stated, in unison. Rose realized it was probably the only time she'd ever hear them do that.

"I'm just brilliant!" Donna responded, her voice equal parts proud and teasing. Rose suspected they would have been good friends had they had the chance. Maybe she would hunt down this world's version of Donna.

"The Doctor, with Rose Tyler, in the TARDIS, just as it should be," the first Doctor said slowly, as if savoring the image in front of him, and it was at this moment that Rose realized that she was staying in this universe, as hard as it may be. The original Doctor would move on, travelling the stars with Donna. She would stay here, travel the stars in her own TARDIS. Maybe share a mortage so she had a place to return to.

The TARDIS let out a loud, almost insistent groan, and Rose wasn't sure if it was the connection she and the TARDIS shared from when she had become the Bad Wolf or if it was just her imagination, but it almost seemed she was bidding her farewell.

"We've got to go. This reality is sealing itself off forever," the original Doctor stated, and another tear rolled down Rose's face. There was only one more thing she could ask to stall him, to make him stay here with her longer.

"Both of you," she started, glancing between the two identical Doctors, one in front of her and one behind. They both moved to stand before her, facing one another with her in the middle, the new Doctor shoving the piece of the TARDIS into his jacket's inner pocket. "When I last stood on this beach, on the worst day of my life, what was the last thing you said to me?" She already knew the answer, but she wasn't ready to part with her Doctor, not with how much time she had spent fighting to get back to him, jumping through countless different universes, even finding him dead in one. She turned to face the Doctor in the familiar long jacket, the original.

"I said, 'Rose Tyler'," he stated, his hand shoved in his pockets, bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet. She loved when he did that.

"Yeah," she agreed, staring up at him, "and how was that sentence going to end?"

The Doctor looked down at her, his gaze beyond sad. It was just... tired. 

"Does it need saying?" he asked, his tone flat with sorrow. Rose closed her eyes, another tear rolling down her face. _Just say it_ , she begged him mentally, though she knew why he neglected to tell her: to convince her to stay here. She opened her eyes with a great deal of effort but also with something akin to relief, giving her Doctor a soft smile to tell him she knew, that she forgave him—and he responded with one of his own. She stared at his face for another moment, aware that this was the last time she'd ever see him—or, more accurately, that he'd ever see her. With a deep breath, she turned to face the new Doctor— _her_ new Doctor. 

"And you, Doctor?" she asked, as the Doctor rested his hand on her left elbow. "How was that sentence going to end?" He leaned down and whispered three words in her ear, a song, a promise, a declaration.

"I love you."

She reached up, grabbed the lapels of his suit jacket, pulled his head down to her level. As her lips met his, she heard the TARDIS's doors open, close. She didn't open her eyes until the familiar wheezing of the TARDIS met her ears, and she broke away from the Doctor, reaching down to grasp his hand as they watched the TARDIS dematerialize. Once it was completely gone, she smiled up at him, to be met with a smile of his own.

The Doctor, with Rose Tyler, in the TARDIS.

Just as it should be.


	2. epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the aftermath.

It was a considerable walk to the nearest village, just over three miles, and with the rugged terrain the trio crossed, it took nearly an hour and a half. Jackie spent most of that time on her mobile, chatting with Pete, far behind Rose and the Doctor; she seemed to understand their desire for privacy, and while both wanted to speak, neither did. The tension behind them was thick enough to cut with a knife.

Finally, Jackie broke the silence, holding her hand over the mobile as to not yell into Pete's ear. "Pete's arranged us tickets back to London," she called, and Rose nodded; the Doctor didn't give any indication of having heard her. He was holding the TARDIS chunk in his hands, flipping it periodically to look at every side. He seemed troubled, and it was easier for Rose to comment on this than to continue in tense silence. As Jackie went back to her mobile, laughing at something her husband had said, Rose nudged the Doctor's arm. 

"What's wrong?" she questioned, her voice quiet, almost hesitant. At the Doctor's confused look, she inclined her head to the orange chunk in his hands, which he was still fidgeting with. He dropped it back into the inner pocket of his jacket.

"Even with the power accelerated, this is going to take around thirty years to grow," he responded, his tone matching hers, and Rose could tell it wasn't what was bothering him; he might not be the man she had fallen in love with, but they were still the same person, other than a few "oi!"s that Rose was pretty sure were from Donna. She could read him, better than she could anyone else, and he was trying to distract her.

She let him.

"You'll come up with something. You always do," she stated, sounding more confident than she felt, before correcting herself. "We always do." 

The Doctor broke into a soft, tender smile at her words, though he didn't respond—at least, not verbally. Instead, he reached down, grabbing her hand, and though he didn't look back at her, Rose knew that he was still smiling.

She swung their hands softly, looking out over the rocky coastline to the sea, the sinking sun painting it vivid shades of oranges and violets with its reflection. The cresting waves provided bright, sparkling highlights in the mass of color; overall, it was absolutely beautiful. Looking up again at the Doctor, she squeezed his hand; she could almost pretend this was a date to an exotic planet if she ignored Jackie's voice behind them. Though he still didn't look down, he squeezed her hand back.

* * *

It was almost dark by the time Jackie, Rose, and the Doctor got to the village. Luckily, it had an inn with vacancy, and Jackie had just enough money with her to cover a room for the night with a bit left over for breakfast. The trio entered the room on the ground floor, and Rose let out an inaudible sigh of relief that there were three beds. She had pretty much moved into the Doctor's room when she was staying on the TARDIS, but that was two years ago. She wasn't there yet.

The Doctor gave them an uneasy look as Jackie and Rose sat down on separate beds, facing one another. Jackie looked up at him, and rolled her eyes, motioning for him to come over.

"Come here, you buffoon," she said, and he obliged, though he didn't sit until Rose patted the bed next to her.

"How come everyone's speaking English?" Rose asked as the Doctor sat down, and she scooted over to sit so their legs were touching as he responded.

"Must be the TARDIS chunk," he responded, pulling it out. "Well, TARDIS core. Well—I think. Never been one like this before, I get to name it. But it retains some of the same abilities as the TARDIS—it's alive, after all. Must be acting as a translator. Neat, isn't it?" he finished, a goofy grin on his face as he looked at Rose. She grinned back, her tongue resting on the tip of her teeth. Jackie cleared her throat.

"How'd you know how long it would take to grow, then?" Rose questioned, taking the TARDIS core from the Doctor and inspecting it. It was shaped a bit like a tuning fork, but shorter, and more rounded.

"Oh, I like to be prepared," he responded, resting his hands on his knees. "Came up with this in—oh, it must have been in my fifth regeneration? I was a bit eccentric back then. Wore a celery stalk pinned to my jacket and everything—never knew anyone else who could pull off a decorative vegetable." He paused, looking thoughtful. "Actually, I'm not sure I pulled it off, either." 

Rose could feel it: some sort of underlying tension, or maybe sorrow; its nature was similar to that of a need, and Rose wasn't sure what to do with it. She was sure the Doctor could feel it too, and was grateful that he was trying to be casual nonetheless.

Jackie wrinkled her nose. "I'm going to wash up for bed." Her tone was mildly uneasy as she spoke, almost as if she was afraid to intrude. Rose was stuck between wanting to laugh at her mother's obvious discomfort and glad that she was leaving the conversation, giving them another chance at the privacy they'd wasted on the walk to the village.

Then they were alone. For the first time in two years, the Doctor and Rose Tyler were alone, together. Neither of them moved—Rose was almost afraid to breath. It was absolutely silent, save for the occasionally cries of seagulls outside the inn. The tension was suddenly much more prevalent.

"We never had a chance to go to Barcelona," the Doctor commented, his voice seeming jarringly loud despite the fact that it was softer than usual, lacking its typical manic energy. Rose wasn't quite sure how to respond; luckily, she didn't need to, as the Doctor continued. "Dogs with no noses, you remember?"

Rose still didn't reply as the physical and emotional exhaustion of the day caught up with her. She slumped forward slightly, seeming to crumple in on herself.

"Rose," the Doctor whispered, his voice both vulnerable and tentative, as if she was going to bolt. _I'm not going anywhere._

"'M sorry," she responded, equally quiet, looking down to stare at her hands in her lap.

"Rose." More insistent now, though no louder.

Still nothing.

"Rose?" The Doctor's voice was almost scared now, and she wanted to hug him, to wash away all his worries. _You're good enough. I need you._  
It was all she could do to turn her head in his direction.

"C'mere," he whispered, his voice no more than a breath, so light Rose would have thought she was imagining it had he not opened his arms. She nearly fell forward into his embrace, clinging onto him as if it was the only thing keeping her alive, burying her face in his neck.

It was only then that she let herself cry. Cry for the two years they lost together; cry for the other Doctor which she had lost; cry for seeing him die the first moment she had seen him in years, just praying that the person he was after regeneration still had time for her, still liked her. A part of her had whispered that his next self would hate her, and she cried for that moment of doubt, too.

It took a minute before she realized the Doctor was crying, too.

A few minutes later, when Jackie came back with wet hair and in the same clothes, they were still embracing. Rose had fallen asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and there it is! thank you all for reading!
> 
> please excure my horrible attempts at britishisms I am but a mere american
> 
> seriously though if you notice any mistakes with it please leave a comment. googling things only gets you so far


End file.
